Thursday, 2 August 2012

Rakhi-Shakhi...Haai Tauba!!

Every year at this time, the newspapers, the commercials on TV/Radio or the story lines in all Hindi serials focus on/around just one sentiment. They are all milking the brother- sister relationship and selling innovative ideas on how to show your gratitude and love through their chocolates, spa packages, diamonds or holidays. Some over enthusiastic News channels are also telling you what color Rakhi you should tie your brother if you REALLY love him! So basically everyone is madly riding the wave of making sisters and brothers make utterly thankless and guilty if they are not doing what is expected out of them as per these marketers.

On the other end are some sisters and brothers who are insulated from such guilt trips because it just does NOT matter to them what this emotion is trying to bring out in them. Some who are raised to learn to ignore the idea of tying a knot around your brother's wrist and gift your sister anything. For them this day just comes and goes. When they were in school they enjoyed this holiday with complete silence and no sign of fanfare  of a festival in their house. When they are in office and its an off day, they just dont know what to do all day. And if they are married into a family who celebrates Rakhi, they simply play along giving fake smiles and even faker blessings that this bond means something to them.

You must be wondering WHO exactly are these creatures who were destined to never enjoy this spirit. Well  these people are my FAMILY :). Due to a certain untoward occurrence in our clan over 100 years ago, our family (and every family in a cluster of about 10-15 villages) stopped celebrating Rakhi, Bhaiya Dooj and another festival called Ahoi Ashtami.

Well its not important to know the names of these days, what is important to know is that for the 1st 25 years of my life this festival did not evoke any emotion in me- for good or for bad. I did write essays on Rakshbandhan but that was it. My association ended there. One day before Rakhi, our school saw a number  of girls tying Rakhi to 'the Bully boys' to teach them a lesson and for me it was all simply crazy! Its true that your upbringing shapes your social and cultural inclinations. So for me and my brother, Rakhi has always been a chutti- thats all :)

Even when I have gotten married and experienced the whole process of making an effort to see your brother, gifting your sisters, sharing sweets, hugging and blessing each other- I am detached. Not in the form of showing disrespect! Certainly not ! But in a positive way. How?

I exchange about a 100 messages with my brother Rahul everyday( Half of them are sentences from me and monosyllables from him). I do not sleep till he reaches home-even when I am not in the same home as he is (I get scolded from Saurabh for this and Rahul has cheat codes to escape this emotional stress). For me he is my first son, before V and N (So what if I am the one who turns to him for advises on life saving matters). He has to just know that I need a particular thing and he will go to any extent to get it (Al Bake shawarmas are a classic example which he now orders on phone for convenience). He advises me on every little change that I want to do in my house ( and when I do just the opposite- he still loves it). I advise him on how to deal with his friendships ( and he never adheres to it!). I share my secrets with him (Yes Rahul! Bas wahi secrets hain meri!). He loves my husband as his older brother and respects him so much that it makes me proud ( so what if he is as scared of him as he is of Dad). I know for sure that I will love his wife as much (Dude- get a good one). So on and so forth :)
Even with my cousin brothers, I know all of them will come to me in a matter of hours if I called them at 2 am in the night ( so what if our communication is just through Facebook but touch wood I have never had to use the 2 am call- But pretty sure about it!)

Batao Rakhi isse zyada aur kya karti? It would have celebrated this beautiful relationship of ours? We celebrate it everyday :)

Same to you Brothers !

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