Monday, 23 November 2015

The nest I built, the one you will outgrow...

Was never the children loving type,
but changed that, you two
Fell from the skies, into my hearts,
Filled me up, through and through.

We learnt together, as we moved ahead.
I discovered self as I built you.
No work, no promotion, no salary,
Nothing stood in front of you.

I heard them saying,
I was giving it up too easy.
I never cared to explain,
That, hey! you never asked me to!

As you stood firm, on ground with teeth,
We wondered who was the child amongst us three.
The endless afternoons of chatter and play,
My Babies, I owe plenty and more to you.

Every joy, your every meal
Every word you have ever
Every smile or tear you have given,
I have it stored, I breathe through them.

Your sleep, your school, your friends, your opinions.
They are yours now, I have taught you all.
But don't we know, each time you fall,
I will be smiling back at you.

I am not empty as you grow taller than me,
Because I never 'gave up' anything for you,
I chose to spend those moments together,
as memories I wished to build, my life had just that view.

I know you will need me lesser and lesser,
I know you will talk sparingly.
But I know the foundation in your heart is mine,
It says- Ma, Thanks for the childhood, that had you.

Friday, 6 November 2015

We are growing old. Just not accepting it.

Being called Aunties and Uncles is passe. Sooner or later, we come to terms to the fact that if we are walking around with our 8 or 6 year olds in company, we are inviting this. What I actually mean by 'experiencing old age' is much deeper and more closer to the places in my mind and heart which I assumed did not exist or thought existed only in our parents. Read up the things which are signs which make me feel 'old' and tell me if you are on your way too!

1) Aversion to noise: I have been a very dramatic and giggly one all my life. I am like that person whose presence in the house cannot be missed because either I will be expressing myself loudly or laughing out loud-when someone is expressing themselves. Often, this annoying habit of mine was a cause of my Grandmom's wrath. She would ask why I couldn't keep my cheer 'less noisy.' I wondered how can someone's laughter be noisy! Now, as I am gaining candles on my birthday cake, I have started feeling her. Youngsters cracking up on a joke in the Metro truly irk me. A lounge that plays music loud enough that I cannot hear my own heartbeat, makes me leave the place. Loud TV instantly triggers my 'shut the $#%& up' mode. Truly I am soon going to become that one in the house who will request others to- 'please keep it low' :/

2) Hair (The white ones and the falling ones): I know some of us have had white hair ever since they filled up Class 10th admit cards but hey- I never had them! I have two now and they will surely turn all the rest in their color. Every time we are going out, I spend 24.5 seconds on hiding them underneath their black brothers but they pop out like antennae, saying to me- 'you can hide us but don't fight us.'

3) Fights: Saurabh and I have stopped fighting. Not to set any precedents in front of our growing children but just because we are so bored of the whole process of first stressing on our own points, then 'trying' to understand the other's view, then sulking for three days, then reconciling because a movie has released and we obviously cannot go alone for it, then patching up and waiting for the next fight. Now what we do is this: "You disagree? Arre kyun yaar..." and we do as the other one wants. If this is not indicating old age, what is? We are clearly opting for peace over war and good times over bad ones.

4) Colors: If you think I will say that I have started liking pastels over neons- you are wrong. It is the opposite. Now when I go to a shop and the guy says- "Ma'am aajkal to ye chal raha hai"- I buy. I know the color is bloody bright but "agar aajkal jo chal raha hai wo nahi pehna to aaj kal ke nahi lagenge na!"

5) Food: Not yet on boiled vegetables and soups-only for dinner but yes I now know that if I have eaten ABC last night, XYZ will happen. This wisdom has made me choosy because while earlier I could rest five days over ill health, as I grow old, nobody can afford that I stay out of action for more than nine seconds.

6) Family and Friends: I think I now know fully who are my friends. Also identified people in the family who I like and who dont like me. I intend to kill the rest of my time nurturing these relationships rather than calling a new person every friday night and asking: "Wazzaa this weekend???"


1) and ONLY: My children- I am unlike the cliches of how an ideal Mum should behave. For instance, I stop them sometimes from eating dal roti and order Pizzas (when Saurabh is eating out or travelling), I dance crazy when a good song is running on TV, I am abreast with all the sporting events they (and the nation) are following and thus when when I sometimes complain of a back pain or too much stress, they look glum. They cannot believe it! Because, somewhere, they don't want to :) 

It is for V and N that I cannot take ageing seriously. Growing old is not in my hands but growing up is :)