Shaadi karaana nahi hai aasan...ek aag ka dariya hai aur doob kar jaana hai!!

Family weddings are good opportunities to sit back and observe. Especially when you are not directly in command of the proceedings, you can be a quiet spectator who is part of the madness but still neither responsible nor accountable for it! Without doubt, hosting a wedding is one of the toughest jobs that we do in our lives. After all it involves interacting with your entire family at one place at the same time! Its easier to pick up the phone and wish them birthdays and Happy New year once a year but its a different ball game when you have cordially invited them and have to manage their kind presence. Having attended one very recently, I sat down to jot down the typicalities that I have noticed in every wedding! Have you noticed that.....

1. There is always that one relative that you are warned about. You can forget anything (maybe even booking the Ghodiwaala or the halwai) but not forget how to best manage that member's mood swings.
2. There is always one member who has a small baby with him or her. That baby on most occasions is the center point of the whole family's attention as it is "too small" to attend a wedding!!
3. The host family members are supposed to have answers for EVERYTHING! Its nothing that they are allowed to - NOT know! So if a family member wants to know whether the Dum Aloo being served has garlic in it or not, they will directly approach the closest person to the groom or bride. If that person uses the line: "Uhhh...Hmmmm.... I dont know....", thats blasphemy!
4. Each and every attendee, at one point or another, will definitely ask the groom or bride: "Aur bhai ABCD, kaisa lag raha hai?". I wonder what is the right answer to this? Actually no one even wants to know. Its just customary to ask!!
5. At least one family member will surely fall ill. Some medical condition ought to arise which will have to be addressed and will be remembered and discussed at the next wedding.
6. The "next in line" suitable boy or girl to get married will invariably be the butt of all jokes. From haldi to mehndi, everyone will corner the immediate family of that poor bachelor or bachelorette as to when they are inviting them next!
7. Safety pins, hair pins, winter clothing and face washes are items that top the list when it comes to "sharing". Its best to never carry these of your own. There are some people in your family who will always carry them in abundance.
8. There is always this one family who is very focussed on capturing each and every moment of themselves in the camera. You will always spot them religiously doing this job as soon as the function begins. Their cameras are hung around their neck and they only capture the closest circle of their family. You are never welcomed or expected to spoil those pictures. For you there is the hired photographer!
9. There is an upcoming breed of your cousins who are updating each and every moment of the myriad functions constantly on Facebook. This is useful for the family members who didn't care or could not manage to attend the wedding and they comment on these updates saying: "Missing on all the action guys. Have fun!". So to rub it in, the Facebook updater will be encouraged to update more!
10. At the last function of the entire week's fanfare, you can clearly see in the eyes and mannerism of the hosts that the next time you are in their position- they are ready to avenge all that you made them go through :)