Tuesday, 26 June 2012

How to sail through the 7 wonder(s)ful years of marriage

I am the best wife in this world. No really, I truly am. I mean which other wife would make the 1st 7 years of a marriage pass like 7 minutes? And yes- Saurabh too is the best husband in this world. There is a reason why I can say this with full assertiveness here- Its MY blog :)

Saurabh and I were both a little too ignorant about -"whats the big deal with the term 7 year itch!!". So me being the "reading one" in our marriage, googled it and tried to understand the whole shit around this phenomena. And as I got to know about it, I realized- "Woo hoo!! It so does not apply to us!!!"

To all those who still do not know (and like us even do not care) about the 7 year itch all it means is that a marriage tends to lose its love and charm after a period of 7 years. Several newer researches although put this number to 2 years or even a few months. Now 1st of all being Indians, this silly rule anyways does not apply to us! I mean in a country where parents, movies and the pandit who convenes our marriages reinforce that now you are stuck for 7 births, 7 years is not even a toe nail of the amount of time we are mentally conditioned for. But anyways with changing times, it has become acceptable to understand that "yes our marriages too can fall apart".

Okay so coming back to me being the best wife in the world(and well...he the best husband) - the "charm and newness " of any relationship would weaken if mundane and routine takes over and GOD has a hand in making me someone who can do anything but be a believer of routine! This is when I am married to someone who can take out  a particular kerchief from his almirah in pitch darkness and he is married to someone whose almirah changes the routine every single day on its own because I have NEVER managed to have a set pattern of how everything in it should be kept (I am working on it but.....I am not).

So the 7 years that we completed on 24th June were marked with such grave "challenges" that this time when we sat and wondered why we did not realise that such a long time had passed is because we were too caught up with the "variety" each year bestowed on us which never let our relationship slip into the "routine" zone!

2005- We get married. Even having known each other for 3 years before that does not help us in coming to terms with each other. While I realise that his cleanliness and discipline are far greater than what I guesstimated, he realised that my performance in both these areas is much below the benchmarks he could imagine!!

2006- Everything had just begun to normalize when he comes back from work one day, I rush to him from across the room, jump to hang on his waist, begin to cry and announce- "Main tumhaare bachche ki ma banne wali hoon"

2007- Viraj falls from the heavens into our laps and the 6 months that he keeps us awake all night (and days), we develop serious psychological ( and physical and behavioral and multidimensional) issues.

2008- As an after effect of Viraj's night-waking sessions, I change apperance from what Saurabh had fallen in love with. Dark circles and zombie looks were just becoming part of our lives when one fine afternoon I announced again- " Main phir se tumhaare bachche ki...blah blah blah". We anyways pass that year assuring ourselves- "Ladki hogi"

2009- Nevaan shows up. Excitement of having Viraj's sibling and hurt of not having a girl consume better part of this year. Saurabh's love has also spread to a frame of 80 kgs who has started looking the age of someone who could pass off as his mother.

2010- Kids gradually become manageable and I have just finished the tedious task of shedding 25 kgs. Saurabh recovers from the upheavels of managing 2 kids, evading the nonsensical questions of many "Why did you do 2 kids?" and getting back his Parul who by 'losing' the weight 'gained' so much back- her confidence, her life :)

2011- Just when we thought- "Ab sab theek hoga"- Viraj needs to join formal school and here goes another year on "Not living for each other". Those who do not understand the big deal behind this must know that getting your child a Nursery seat in a Delhi school is tougher than getting through to the Ivy league Harvard University!

2012- Phew!! The first half of this year went in repeating the 2011 act for Nevaan.

So you see how we did not let any "boredom" creep into our marriage? I mean, we did not have space for any thing!!! We filled up our 7 years with so many revelations, shock, hope,perseverance,exploration and an unmatched feeling of " I am with you, around somewhere" that there wasnt any chance of losing each other to what I call- Mundane and routine :)

And the truth is that now that we have come so far in terms of settling into our relationship with 2 beautiful babies and so many highs and lows- we actually begin our journey together from where it ends for many.

Lets see when we complete the 7 years of this beginning what my thoughts are :)


  1. Your next blog should be on how you lost those 25 KGs! :) That is some feat!! Super Duper Awesome! I delivered a baby ten months ago and am suffering from serious weight issues. And if I can loose even half of what you lost I would be very happy but to me it looks like an "IMPOSSIBLE" task right now...:)

  2. I agree with kanika. It's a great article. You should elaborate further

  3. Thanks for reading.As for the 25 kg feat....well! hopefully one day :)