Monday, 18 June 2012

Abhi to main.....

Okay this maybe 'old', but to convey my feelings this "very heard" quote is significant. I have 2 white hair on my head now and I often talk to them when I am alone. Dont read again as you have read it right . I do talk to my 2 white hair quite often. 
I curse them. Ask them why they chose me? I tell them I do not want them to talk to others they share the territory with. I also dare them to show up when I am with others and be ready for the consequences if they choose to ignore my threats. In my heart though, I know that I cannot get rid of them as my Mom tells me that If I try and pull them off, more will come :(. Damn you white hair cum politicians!!

So what do I do except for these monologues with the silent indicators of the very inevitable ageing signs? I accept the message they wish to send out. I know the whole process of "talking" to them in itself is kiddish, but trust me- I know why they are here and what I should hence learn :)

I have had the 'good' opportunity to observe some people around me who with age have only added wrinkles and years but no grace. Along with having a good laugh at their expense, I have learnt tremendously from them hence on the onset  I must say- Thanks! Oh yes I am still not THERE but as I slowly tread there, I have the following learnings to not do what I believe is.....not required :)

  1. I have learnt that there is a thin line between being young at heart and being young in how you desperately want to look. The young at heart can also be young in their minds (thinking and attitudes) but it has to be rhetorical rather than literal.
  2. Its nice to see someone older than you accept your views, opinions and enjoy a sheer spirit with youngsters but only when it is attached with some kind of humility and ease not when it is marked with-" I have to prove a point".
  3. Ageing is as natural as your kids growing up right? Its definitely proportional to it no? So how much ever you feel bad about yourself, every time you add a candle on their birthday cake, please add some maturity to your conduct too.
  4. I have shared earlier as one of my FB status messages that the very realisation that kids in the range of 4 to 15 years can legally call me 'Aunty' is a big set back but that does not make me so frustrated that in my lame attempts to look young and energetic, I will start climbing the slides and swings with my kids.
  5. When you dress up jazzy and clearly cannot carry it off because of all the oddness and deformity that age has physically brought to you, I feel bad for you. Be what you are and earn respect....not sympathy. 
  6. The definition of a legitimate generation gap is now changing. I know that not just Viraj and I are separated by a generation, but even Rahul ( my brother who is 5 years younger than me) and me are  separated by one. When he tells me "oh you will not understand what WE feel", instead of arguing that I am not his mother's age, I HAVE to rather try to reach out to him. Or soon, he will put me in that category and stop sharing!
  7. I am not saying stop dyeing your hair or getting facials done!!! I am saying age like a wine not like sour grapes :)
  8. Definitely try and do as much as you can as there is only ONE life but the process why do things you should have done 10 years back but did not because you knew you were not made out for it? Or why take up something now which only makes you 'look' young while somewhere you know its not a reflection on your wisdom! I mean bungee jumping was okay back then but today I know that when I will be on top of that cliff I will be more bothered  whether ill die of a heart failure and V an N will get a new mom :(
  9. Learn from the graciousness and finery of some available examples around you. They could even be public figures. Its so nice to see someone accept their situation rather than hide it so desperately.
  10. See how Bollywood has reinforced this truth for us- its okay for men to get old but when a woman gets older, she loses her charm and no longer is longed for! The only women in Bollywood who have remained timeless (and respected) are the ones who stopped trying too hard or jumped around - looking funny just when it was most appropriate to do so. So while Salman Khan can pull off a "Dhinka chika", Rekha looked puke-worthy while "losing control in the night."

To grow old is not such a bad thing. To pretend and hide it with all the superficiality- IS!

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