"I heard that one of them is here. Just over heard as no one has
informed me directly. There is no need. I am living in peace now so they
generally do not bother me with unnecessary news or developments. Ever
since I got this news though, I am very nervous. No, not nervous. There
is a slight discomfort. A silly churning in the stomach. Yes it is more
like a sense of disgust. My routine is almost set here. From morning
till evening, I have things which I stay involved with. I even spend an
hour or two looking out to what Mom is cooking, to what my father is
going to wear to work- this undoubtedly is the best part of my day.
Brings a smile on my face- just watching them go about their normal
routines which is now slowly coming on track. But today is different. I do not want to go about acting normal. I dont even want to see my parents today.
I dont want to pretend its all okay. I want to sit curled up somewhere,
away from even his shadow. This place they are telling me now, is unique. They told me after gauging my fidget. They know I am not
fine today. So they assured me that he has no place around me. He
will be far, very far away from where I am. He is here not for the same
comforts that I am here for. Infact his life here will be even worse
than what it was when he was called here. This makes me feel a little
better. Its not that I am happy that his life here will be bad, I am not
so mean. I am just happy that he will now not affect me. Infact I am
happier that he will not be able to affect any life now! Thats such a
relief.
I try to divert attention to other things that
need my attention. They make us do some good work here. They keep us
busy. There are no deadlines so we can roam about doing whatever we want
at our own pace and at our own will. Wish I could call my mother and
tell her how happy I am here. But they say I cannot. This is the only
one restriction we have. Now thats okay. At least I can watch her
thinking about me- which by the way, is every single minute of her day . As
they get me my lunch, I make a request. I have thought about it and I
want to do this. I want to do this for myself because I know I can do
it-in fact I should do it. I ask them to let me meet him. 'Why?' they ask
me.
'I want him to look into my eyes', I reply.
'Why?' they ask me again.
'Last
time he looked at me and saw courage in them, he got very very scared.
He gathered might from some people who too will eventually come here to
serve like him and he did not stop hurting me till that courage turned
into helplessness, fear, shame and pain. I finally shut my eyes, part due
to the pain, and part because I was alone. Today I want him to see my eyes
again. I want him to see the same courage in them which scared him. You
know he gets very scared of it? And I would love to see him like that
again'
'Do you wish to ask him something?' They ask me.
'Oh No No. I know all the answers. I know he is not even here out of
remorse. He does not deserve my time or attention. He is a coward and
cowardice has no place in my dictionary. He needs help. Many like him
do. All they need in the name of help is the same treatment that they
met out to us. We should scare them. We should scare them with our
collective might. We should stare them in the eyes and tell them that we
are not scared of them. Because Humans are not scared of Humans. The
whole problem is that he is not a human. And nobody taught me how to deal
with in-humans. Where is it taught? Now I see them teaching that too. I am glad this too is finally being taught!.......so can I see him? In the
eye?'
They take me out of the room and point somewhere into pitch darkness.
'See him? There he is.'
'But I see nothing', I say
'Just
keep looking into the darkness. You cannot see him as we have ensured
you never ever get touched by darkness again. Although he can see you. Keep looking at him. We can see he is trembling with fear.'
I
keep looking in the sea of blackness. They keep assuring me that with
each passing second, his fear is mounting. I finally smile. Just as I do
that, they say, he has collapsed. First my courage scared him and now
my content has shattered him. I am done with him now!"
Written from The Heaven
By the Fearless one
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