I am their mother- their first teacher. My mother is mine and her mother was hers. I don't know if all mothers felt this at every age or am I reading too much between the lines- V and N ( my sons) are my biggest teachers. Their coaching classes I attend daily- whether I want the teachings or not-Thats not a choice!
These are the TOP 12 lessons:
- I must mind my language- because when they repeat the words I use often, it doesnt sound too good- (Wot the F@$#)
- I must also mind my TV viewing habits because when I scold them and they look scared and say : " Mom ab kya aap hamari zindagi barbaad kar dogi?", I feel like drowning somewhere
- I cannot hate anyone.........or they will tell that person!!!-( I must say my relationship with my Mom In Law has bettered ;) )
- I must eat the first bite of my every meal with caution- They WILL want to use the loo!!
- Kids will always love their Grandparents more than you because grandparents never say NO to them. DO NOT interfere or get bogged down by this dynamics and wait for the time when you can relax on the sofa as a grandparent and say- " Arre bachche to rote hi hain! Inhe tang mat karo !!!" -( That ll be my revenge!!!)
- They miss me a lot when I am not around (My neighbors know exactly for how many hours I was out) but they don't notice me when I am around them: This tells me that I am a security which is their right ( and I love this feeling)
- They will respect me only if their father loves me. How their father treats his woman is a great influence on how they will treat theirs :). Its fun to see them jump on Saurabh and ask him- "Does Ma love you enough? As much as she loves us?".
- Its not 'embarrassing' to live your life the child's way- Uninhibited , carefree and non judgmental- i realised this for the first time when I enjoyed my first rain dance with them in my balcony and forgot about some onlookers on the road. Today its the best times we ever shared and those onlookers dont exist! If I had wasted that moment in fear, I would have missed out on an important lesson
- I think the phrase " I did so much for you" is the most overrated statement we have heard from parents ( Thanks to bollywood for popularising it)- I didnt leave my job for THEM. I did it for MYSELF. If I wanted they would have adjusted to a maid, creche or daycare. Its me and Saurabh who do not want them in that care and thus we are noone to pass on the burden of our guilt or non-fulfillment onto our kids. To set some records straight- I am the happiest Mother on this earth to have made this choice and bloody proud of it!
- They will become what I am. So tomorrow if they are not good fathers or husbands or sons or human beings- I am responsible for it
- They would always want to marry someone like me! The question is how will i adjust with someone like myself!!! and so I observe my Mom in law adjusting with me for tips :)
- Last but not the least- They are the centers of my life now. I eat - sleep - walk - dance - cook - talk - laugh blah blah blah for them, by them and because of them so even if I do get irritated/ suffocated/ demotivated by it , I have NO choice and thus cribbing and complaining is not the solution! Acceptance, perseverance and well....constantly learning and growing is :)