When Saurabh was not in my life- watching award functions on every channel was not such an issue. With him being so critical and doubtful of their sheer accountability, I stopped watching them at all- for many years now. And its a fact that when you know you CANNOT do something, you start justifying it by yourself assuming negative sides of that particular thing. Hence all the naach gaana and camera capturing awkward celebrity moments, started to get onto my nerves.
This year was no different-until last evening. While watching "something relevant" from Saurabh's standard I caught Hrithik's dance moves which were to be aired on the Filmfare awards. His dream dance moves transported me to the year 2000 when after Kaho na pyar hai, I went to one of his concerts at the JLN stadium in Delhi, and almost lost my vocal chords to a 3 hour non stop shouting!
Anyways so I asked- or rather-ordered that he will "allow" me to watch this particular show! Sometimes the regular equations in our house DO change and I am ALLOWED to do things my way! Last evening was one such evening and there I was, having to sit through the entire show as Hrithik only performed towards the end. This compulsion however made me remember the reason I loved these telecasts. No- Not for the clothes actresses wear, or the jokes hosts crack. Not for any feelings when my favorite movie of the year won, niether for apparent controversies that are placed to improve TRPs.
They may be rigged. They may be scripted or even sold. But there are some genuine winners- arent there? and when those winners say what they say while they hold the award in their hands- is what I watch these awards for! I was up at odd hours in the morning when A R Rahman won the oscar for Slumdog Millionaire. The speech he made- gravely disappointed me ( Remember his :"Mere pass ma Hai" ?). Last night, what some winners spoke- truly touched my heart and emotional fools like me cannot help a faint tear rolling down their cheeks when genuineness takes over the farce!
When Sujoy said that it took hundred years of Indian cinema to get him this- I felt victorious.
When a guy said that today he will go back to his elder sister and explain why he stole her money to watch movies- I felt nostalgic.
When Richa Chaddha said she was thankful for the industry's warmth in accepting outsiders- I felt hopeful.
When Anurag said that these awards allow filmmakers like him to make different cinema- I felt proud.
When Irrfan dedicated his award to Paan Singh's family- I felt gratitude.
When Annu Kapoor spoke what he spoke with a tinge of a lump in his throat- I felt vindicated.
When Ranbir gave a silent speech- I felt awe for his creativity.
Oh yes there are many each year who DO NOT deserve to receive any award and speak- but an year when there have been some real winners- I must say- When you deserve recognition for work you invested a lot of hard work and belief in, the words do come out from the heart and they DO impact people who understand the worth of creativity......your creativity :)
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