Monday, 23 April 2012

Blanked out of a mother's dictionary...

They say a lot changes once you get married. True....
How come they never tell you that the WHOLE changes once you have kids!!!! Exaggeration? NO!!

I realized that there are so many regular phrases and words that have completely evaporated from my life..... Some are listed below but deteriorating memory is also a side effect so I will have a sequel of this post in due course. Such mundane things they are that someone without kids cannot imagine this could be true!!

  1. Weekdays and Weekends- There is no distinction now between the two! They are both the same, absolutely same. Its funny how difficult it was to explain to Viraj the other day that on weekends- "you have fun because you have a holiday from school and papa is off from office". He turns around and asks- You have an off from?? "Nothing my child :("
  2. Friday Evening adrenaline rush: Dont you have that fun churning in your stomach when its Friday evening, you are in office,  there is little work on your desk and you are mentally preparing for all the rest, movies and catching up with friends you can do in the next 2 days?- Thats all vanished from my life! I sometimes have sense of Fridays when there is a Parent-Teacher meeting next day and I have to "Dress up" for a change
  3. Monday Blues- No need to explain what this is and how you all must be thinking- "Parul thank god you do not suffer from this!" but again- If you were in my place even Monday mornings would look bearable- Now imagine!!!
  4. Bad Hair days- I sometimes have good hair days and those too are disrupted by people around me asking:-" Kahin jaa rahi ho kya?". Noooo...why cant I look normal on some days!!
  5. Vacations to Mountains- I got married in the peak of summers without realising that this would mean having an anniversary too in peak of summers year after year :( .That is not too bad huh? I could always take to the hills? Nahh!! I have 2 sons and 1 husband who have motion sickness and what does that translate to?- NO vacations on the mountains- EVER!!!
  6. Parlor Visits- These are now marked with 3 levels of approvals
    1. To Kids: Can mamma go away for a few hours? You will not trouble papa? See its his weekend so you should let him watch TV na?
    2. To Saurabh: Please let me go. They wont trouble you. Okay ill come back as soon as I can.Okay think about it 
    3. To Mother In law: Will you manage kids? Yaya I ll be back soon. Ill ask Saurabh to help you Ma, but you know him:(
    4. (By the time these approvals are granted, I dont want to go!!)
  7. Random Channel surfing- You never know where Mallika Sherawat is asking men to get wet! You never know where Kancha cheena is hanging Vijay's father on the tree!! You never know where a maid is shown kidnapping small children in Crime patrol- Basically dont channel surf!!
  8. An empty Bed- Really what is that? Been years when Saurabh and I have not slept with all of us looking like a sandwich!
  9. Salary- I no longer wait for month end for an SMS that tells me that an amount has been credited for all my hard work. All those raise hands who get such an SMS even without the hard work.
  10. Increment letter- I have no clue when I got the last one. But this is compensated ably when kids win certificates at school for various competitions I help them prepare for :)
  11. Clubbing- Oops- Is it still called that? 
  12. Mush- Saurabh and I do not need it any longer. All we need now is an opportunity!!!
  13. Junk food- "Lead by example" is what our pediatrician was telling us the other day while I could see a box full of pastries on his desk which he patted and said- " Kabhi kabhi its nice to take this stuff to kids"
  14. Coke and Pepsi with every meal- I did not learn how to guzzle down my Pizzas, butter chicken and Shwarmas without a glass full of chilled Coke or Pepsi. Now Saurabh stares at me when I ask for it as kids will pick this "bad" habit or I revolt and drink it in a steel glass which kills half its fun already :(
  15. The word- F. O- Look left, look right, look up and look up down. No kids in sight? Quickly say F. O!!! Phew......- So much trouble for such a harmless vent of emotions which cannot be replaced with any other suitable word!!!
  16. Face packs- If you cannot exercise point no 6, at least you could apply face packs at home? No baby I cant!! Why? - " Dadiiiiii.....Mom is scaring us!!!"
  17. Pin Drop Silence- In fact I might go deaf now if I ever experience it again in my life!
  18. Mom's Love- Its the truth! She has stopped caring for me totally. She ONLY loves my kids!!!
  19. A routine call to Saurabh- Suppose the weather is good and I generally feel like listening to his voice and telling him I miss him........" Mom I want to say Hi first"...." Mom I also want to say Hi"....." Mom give the phone- I must tell him how Bhaiya beat me up". In the end Saurabh will ask me-" Why did you call? Sambhaalo unhe yaar" :( 
  20. Guess the last word that's completely out of the window for me by filling up the blanks in these songs:
    1. O mere, Dil ke .............
    2. Mera ....... Vain sab ujda
    3. Mujhe neend na aaye, mujhe ............ na aaye

1 comment:

  1. Another hilarious one! Sarcasm laced with inner pain ;)