I have been named the 'worst mother of the lane' in a poll conducted by my sons' friends- some 12 boys ( including V and N) who are Cricket/Soccer buddies throughout the year but enemies during Holi time! For the past one week, I am the only one howling on top of my voice to teach these boys how to play a safer and more fun a Holi. My lectures have borne some good fruits as these kids do not target salesmen, vegetable vendors, old people, dogs among other in the 'list' that I have strictly warned them against.
Every evening when V and N came complaining to me that why was theirs the only Mum who would stand outside and monitor how Holi is being 'enjoyed' in the neighborhood, I would think hard if I was doing anything wrong? Not till I saw the 7 sec clip that came on their school's Whatsapp group- a 13 year old falling off the first floor balcony because he wanted to throw the water balloon as far as he could. Those kids were also indulging in a gang war of sorts- like all kids do I think but every year the gadgets that they can use see an upgrade- thanks to Chinese supplying them tools where they can fill and knot balloons on their own (means they don't need parents like we did) or colors which are called Gulal but just never come off and itch the eyes a great deal.
Anyway, I sat down my boys last evening as they returned home bruised and hurt. While running away from balloons, younger one fell on a parked bicycle and older one got hit in the face with a taller guys pichkaari (you have to see the size of this sprinkler to believe it. Its taller than Burj Khalifa)
I have told them how they can help me have a good festival by doing the following 4 things and I hope all our children understand the true meaning of this fun festival. It sort of worked on mine- hope it does for you too.
This is what my note reads to them:
1) H- Have Fun- Yes. I am not a bad Mum. I have been your age and I have played several Holis with friends. I have some very good memories and I insist that you have them too. Have fun, no doubt but fun will be fun only when everyone is safe. Fun will be fun when you are enjoying with your friends and not having a war with them. Fun is fun when you have not harmed yourself and can still play Cricket after Holi is over.
2) O- Observe- See how your Papa plays Holi. He takes care that he is not aggressive- both in behavior and language. He never forces anyone to play with him. Also observe all the rowdies around you. If they are playing using water from the drain or by throwing eggs inside the houses- That's not Holi. Because its not fun- its stupidity. Being stupid is not fun. Being fun is fun. Observe your elders and observe who is bad. Take care of yourself by doing this.
3) L- Let others have fun- You cannot harm anyone permanently. You cannot stay silent if someone else is running on the road dangerously. You cannot throw a balloon on someone who doesn't want to play holi with you. Respect everyone. If they ask you to 'please don't dirty me with this color'- show respect boys and just wish them a Happy Holi. If something makes you happy but others unhappy- its not the true spirit of Holi.
4) I- Initiate: After reading all this you will argue- 'Its Holi Ma. We cant have rules'. You can because you must. If no one else agrees to be safe and respectful, both of you take initiative. Be nice boys. People will follow. Even if they don't, you keep being nice.
Initiate could also be - if you feel like someone is left out, take the initiative to ask them to play too and include them.
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