Kiddie Birthday Parties Tamasha

If you have babies you know what I am talking about. If you are yet to have babies- this is what is in store. If you will never have babies- what do you miss anyway?

So what is a kiddie birthday party?

It is a place where there are many many replicas of your own children accompanied by parents (who are just like you), celebrating the birthday of their counterpart and imagining themselves in the shoes of the 'star of the evening'.

Two kids have ensured my frequent attendance to these parties and you cannot stop the observer in me from noticing things that are so strikingly common to all of them!

Disclaimer: If I smell of being bored by the sheer monotony- you have the correct smell!! 

1. There is always a Tattoo guy at such events. Even though the popular tattoos are Doreamon and Spiderman's face among the children, he will always first make the ugly dragon. Your kids will come running to you and complain- "Uncle made Dragon- AGAIN". And then you end up filling them up with confidence to go back to the 'Uncle' with their second hand and insist that he makes what they want! 

Trivia: Whenever you will look at this Tattoo Uncle, he will be eating!

2. Magician and his antics are almost embarassing. Every single party will have a unique magician who will tell your kids that the REAL magic mantra is the one he is telling. So my kids alternate these mantras at home by saying- Abra ca dabra or giilly gilly hocus pocus or Choo Choo Mantar jajantar.

Trivia: The magician is usually doing his show for the elders of the party. The kids are running around him, not chanting the mantras on time and there will always be at least 2 adults adhering to chanting them!

3. Next time you are at such a party, don't stand in the background when the cake is being cut. Try and remain closer to the action. You will always over hear one mother telling another- "Oh we had the same cake for ABC's party this year". So what is what I want to tell them!

Trivia: The candles which burn like Diwali crackers require immense patience. The birthday kid is scared of them while other guests stand patiently for it to douse before the real proceedings can begin.

4. The most common games played at EVERY party are Musical Chairs and Passing the parcel. Even the kids are bored of them! But its funny to see how some kids play them as if its a matter of life and death. The parents almost make the game seem like an Olympic race scolding the child if he fails to find a seat when the music stopped. 

Trivia: You can gauge how much these games have been practiced from the very fact that kids as old as four years have developed cheat codes to win them. Some are compulsive cheaters who join in the fun even after they have been declared out!

5. Balloon factories should be banned from existence. My childhood memories of going gaga over a balloon start and end at the India Gate visits. Wasn't it more fun to play with one in such an open area? At these parties where we are all struggling for spaces to even stand, almost each and every kid is falling and running and fighting and bursting and sliding with a balloon.

Trivia: If the balloon has made its way into your car too, it will burst loudly and at least for once scare the shit out of whoever is at the wheel!

6. Obviously when there are kids, and small ones at that, they HAVE to be accompanied by parents. Now if the parents are known to the host parents like they are close friends or family or colleagues, then they will sail through the two hour ordeal but when they are unknown like those of school friends or bus friends- hats off to them for enduring these get-togethers.

Trivia: Spot such fathers punching- God knows what- into their smart phones and mothers sitting cross legged on corner chairs with a practiced smile on their tired faces with a pile of prizes their children win in various games or the masks and whistles that they collect party after party.

7. Its impossible to not let your child know what you are gifting their friend. They obviously know and the first thing they say when they hand over the gift to its owner is the utility of it! So if its a game they will tell the Birthday boy or girl- " Ma got you a board game. We will play it together!" OR "Its a dress. Blue color!"

Trivia: Needless to say this but if you are recycling the gifts, you better NEVER let your child know about it. Or he will go and announce at the party- "This is a gift I got on my birthday. I wasn't using it so Ma got this for you!"

8. The kids of course go to these parties for the cake and the balloons but there is one more thing which they cannot ever miss out on. Its the Return Gift! When you announce that its time to leave, the kids will point out the table where they have eyed the wrapped gifts (its easy to identify them as they are usually wrapped in the same paper). there is no way that you can slip out of these parties without meeting your hosts (like sometimes you do at weddings) as you are aware that if you reach home without the return gift, your child will bring you back to the party venue to collect his/her right! 

Trivia: "Ma whats inside this? can we please open it Ma? Please Ma. Okay just a small glimpse? Ma I know what is inside, do you want to confirm it? You never let me open it Ma! You are the worst Mamma in the world!" - Your little one will keep saying this on your way back till you relent and say : "Open it and keep quiet!!"