Friday, 25 January 2013

Me and Y- a unique equation....

We are not a family that has a habit of keeping house helps. As in, neither at my parent's house nor at Saurabh's has there ever been a help which is full time and lasted generations! You know those typical Ramu Kakas that we see in Hindi movies or that guy in Hum Aapke Hain Kaun who even played passing the parcel with the entire family. After my 2 kids, I insisted on having a full time help and we got into an arrangement of 11 months term with a placement agency that provides full time house helps. For the 1st 2 terms, girls came, completed their designated 11 months and left. But the one girl that I have with me currently, stayed on for the 2nd term. Trust me IT IS a big deal! These girls, you can say, are trained to never continue in the same house. But as luck could have it, she had a fight with her Father(over my STD call) the very day she was to leave, and hence requested us to extend her stay.

"Requested??" I mean really??? Her words: "Mujhe yahan se nahi jaana"- still echo in my ears! I cried with happiness when I heard it. Saurabh and I even went out for a dinner to celebrate it.  After all I would not have to train a fresh one. Moreover, the "waiting period" for another girl is anywhere between 2 weeks to 3 months! This one has been here and done everything I desired and was almost in an Auto pilot mode. Amidst all this excitement, I chose to ignore the faint but firm warning of my experienced Mom In Law that - "Longer these girls stay at your place, tougher they become to handle!". I answered her apprehensions saying: "A known devil is better than an unknown one Ma."

But is it? Lets see!

Last night when Mamma joined me for dinner, she asked after 5 minutes, why I was so quiet (Saurabh was away for dinner with friends). I tried to dodge her observations but how much can I hide from a Mother! Before I could come out with details, she figured- "You fought with Y?". Now Y is that girl who stays at our place full time and helps me with mundane chores. I was so embarrassed to answer this question in affirmative! I mean who the hell fights with a maid and gets upset. Have a better life Parul! Fight with your Mom in Law or your husband if you want to justify a sulk. But with Y!! Why???

Clearly because my lack of experience in managing house helps makes her intimidate me. What else explains the fact that if she does anything wrong like break crockery or do exactly opposite of what I am asking her to do, and I slightly raise my voice- She stops talking with me!! Even worse- if I lose my cool like real bad and scold her for more than 23 seconds, she will not eat food! Where does that leave me? It leaves me in a state where I end up saying sorry to her 50 times.

What life is this that when I have absolute cordial relations with my Mom in Law, my kids are better disciplined than most I see around me, my husband acts even before I speak- I still remain subservient to the nakhras of Y because I need her more than she needs me!! Hats off to Bollywood and Hindi Soaps families who have one such person in their house who is more like a family member rather than a one in my case where if you observe us closely, you may think she pays me to keep her in MY house!!

{{Okay while I was typing this, she made a "small" hole in a cushion cover while ironing it. Oh c'mom Y, thats perfectly fine. Ill buy another cover- You dont go!}}

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